I figured my journal needed updating.

So we got this new toilet because the old one was leaking or something, right? The new one is shaped different and I can't get comfortable on it to...ya know. And now it growls at me when I flush it. Aie. Guess I need to call the landlord about it now. The things an adult has to put up with!

Six weeks... Just six more weeks until my baby is due. March 22 is the official due date, so the baby could be born anytime around then. I just want it to be over. I thought expecting a baby was supposed to be a happy and exiting time in a woman's life...but in my life it's only been agonizing.

I was in the hospital again last week, this time for kidney stones. (I hear they're more common in pregant women.) That was the most painful experience of my life. And I hear giving birth is just about the same. The joys I have to look forward to. It hurt so much I was throwing up, shivering, writhing, nearly passing out over and over, getting periods of hot and cold flashes, and unable to focus on anything. Ever have that much pain? Then don't tell me you know what it's like. You don't.

The waiting was the worst part...waiting for the nurses to come in and help me, put an IV line in (which they blew one of my veins doing, freaking me out further because a huge lump formed on my hand...it's still black and blue), and give me medication for the pain and to stop me from throwing up. I got this huge syringe of morphine that put a slow constant feed into my IV line to keep the pain at bay. And I got a button to push every 10 minutes (so I couldn't OD) when the pain got more severe.

And then it got nice because the pain went away and I was all high and giggly while watching America's Funniest Home Videos and COPS. My hubby thought it was hilarious, the way I laughed with this stoner laugh all the time. Heehee.

I passed one stone while in the hospital, but there's still another in my left kidney...waiting to cause me the same pain when it decides to come out. Who knows when that could be. It's also making it hard to pee, and I feel like I have to go very often. But when I do, not much happens, and it's really frustrating. I think that's why my toilet is growling at me now. It's mad because I flush it so much.

Oh, and if one more person tells me "it'll all be worth it" one more time, I'm going to break something. I'm tired of hearing that, and it's not really helping with anything. Nor is asking me if I'm excited about the baby coming soon. I'll be excited when I'm not uncomfortable 24/7.

My baby is fine though. It's going to be a girl (so we discovered), and she's very healthy and kicking me in the ribs often, just to let me know. I can't wait for her to be born; 1, so I can hold her, and 2, so my body can finally heal competely. (I'm sore, every day, all day.) Think I'll rustle up and post maybe 4 3D ultrasound pictures that we had done of her to show you just how precious she is. Baby pictures before the baby is even born! What's the world coming to?!

If you read this far, thank you for taking the time to do so. This is really the only place I have to freely vent my frustrations, and it feels better to "say" something and know that maybe someone out there is listening.



Also, my husband and I are in some financial difficulty due to excessive hospital bills that our insurance won't cover...not to mention buying things our new baby needs. If you feel you can, we would be grateful to anyone who could donate some money to us. Please follow this link : P%2dDonationsBF&charset=UTF%2d8"The Gilbert Baby Fund. (The link may look messed up, but it works.) If you don't want to/can't donate online, but still would like to help us out, just let me know via comment, note, or email, and we'll discuss arrangements. Any amount would be appreciated. Thank you!



Well...time to eat something and call about my growling toilet.







Clubs :


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